The Royal Treatment

Avery is infatuated with all things girly. Fairies, princesses, pretty bows, flowers, cooking, tea parties, etc... I will also add that she is also excited that someday daddy will teach her how to play baseball, basketball and football. (I've got field hockey to teach.) More than anything she is super excited about being a princess. I mean, I guess most little girls are. I don't necessarily remember being like that when I was a kid... more of a tomboy, I guess. Ava, however, would wear her tutus and princess dresses (and even the fairy wings) every day and to every venue if I let her. Funny thing is, she acts nicer when she's a princess. This is not saying that she's not still three years old and has the occassional melt down, but she dances around singing and smiling at everyone for the most part.
It's interesting... the Ava being a princess thing. I was thinking about it. If our heavenly father is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, then each of us is also royalty. And, just like any other royal family, we did nothing to earn being a prince or princess. We just have to receive it. I recently heard my friend, Jody, read from a book about this very subject. It said that, "In the kingdom of God there are no commoners." The more I thought about it, the more I realize that we do not always live like we are royalty. We believe the lies that people have told us about how "ordinary" we are. We give up our dreams that we have when we're little and try to settle for what we've been told is "reality." We live like a commoner.
Why?
Why don't we realize how amazing we are? Why don't we realize that we are the kids of a King? If your biological dad was a King, how different would you act? How different would you carry yourself? How different would you look at the world and at your family? At your responsibilities? Truly, your heavenly father, who cares more about you than even your biological one, IS a king. He's got more authority and can make more things happen than any earthly king (or president.) I think we need to realize how awesome we've been created. How amazing our lives can be by mere association with the King. How many people are watching us and watching royalty conducts themselves. (I mean, if a zillion people tuned in for Prince William's wedding, I'm guessing at least the people you come in contact with watch you.)
What if we started behaving like we have people watching? What if we started acting like we are representing the name of our heavenly father every time we come in contact with another one of His children? (We are.) How different would this world be if we all started acting like princes and princesses in everything we do? How different would our lives be if our expectations (about our lives and our responsibilities) were those of royalty? I'm excited to try it every day. I probably won't start wearing a tutu or frilly dress, but I will start to recognize my role as the kid of a KING!

Fear Not!

Did you ever notice that if there's a lesson that you really must learn, it shows up everywhere? I guess it's God's way of making us take notice. I mean, I would typically prefer a billboard with just some explicit instructions tailored just for me, but I'm guessing He feels that repetition and constant working through a new "lesson" is better in the long run. He's right, obviously.
I've started noticing my "lesson" recently has been about fear vs. faith. Did you know that the Bible commands us 110 times to "FEAR NOT!" ?? I'm guessing this is where part of the repetition thing comes in. He tells us over and over to have Faith that He will take care of us and that He will keep his promises to us. Unfortunately, this sounds... nice. Kind of like a Hallmark card. I think that people don't totally grasp what He's trying to tell us. They dismiss it as the kind of promise that a human would make. One that can be easily broken. But, they forget, He's GOD. He doesn't lie. If He says it... He MEANS it.
I mean, I only am sort of understanding it all now. This means that HE is our source... not our job or this economy. This means that HE has taken our pain and suffering upon Himself already so that we don't have to. This means that HE will bless us and our family and keep them safe. We don't have to worry about every "issue" that comes along (health or safety wise.) Don't get me wrong. WE still need to exercise common sense. (God gave us that too.) No, you should not be sitting around on unemployment and being lazy waiting for that "miracle money" in the mail. Yes, you should take your vitamins and eat healthier...God's concerned with your health and you should be too. No, you should not let your children get into cars with strangers... You are still their earthly parent and should take as much caution as you can to keep them safe.
But... all of that being said, God truly wants us to have FAITH in Him. Faith is believing what you can't see. Believing that He really will prove His word to be true. Unfortunately, Fear has the same definition... belief in what cannot be seen. However, fear is the belief in the negative things that you can't see. Satan is really good at distorting the truth of God's word and His promises to us. (He's been at this a long time.) Funny thing is... Satan can not "create" anything. He can only distort or try to make you doubt God's promises. In planting that seed of doubt, fear can come creeping into your mind.

Last year, before I found out I was pregnant with Sam, I lost a baby shortly after I had found out I was pregnant. After working through my emotions from that ordeal, I prayed to God for a child. (One of my reasons for naming our son Samuel. Samuel in the Bible was an answer to His mother, Hannah's prayers... just as Sam was an answer to ours.) When I found out I was pregnant with Sam I was elated... and scared all at the same time. For those first few weeks before I had any kind of ultrasound or could hear the heartbeat or could feel him move, the only "confirmation" I had was the little stick I had peed on. I started living in fear that the worst would happen. After a conversation with a friend, I knew that I had to kick Satan's lies right out of my head. The only way to do that is to make sure that there's no room in my brain for him to sneak any kind of doubt. I had to fill it with the promises that God gave me. I had to make sure to live and speak and breathe only the Word of God concerning my baby. That way, when Satan and his little groupies tried to throw in a word of doubt or unbelief about the health of my baby, I could dismiss it as a total lie. It would be like seeing a flying cow. You would typically figure that someone is trying to pull one over on you if you looked out your window and saw a cow flying by.

The thing is... your brain is constantly looking for new information. If you stop filling it with the promises of God, Satan will use that instant to sneak a little fear in there. If you stop living by FAITH you will, eventually, live by FEAR. After Sam was born I started to think that the battle was won. Wrong. Satan will use your children most of all to instill fear into you. I started to worry about Sam. He wasn't/isn't like Ava. Was/Is that okay? Oh gosh... and that's where Satan jumped right in... trying to fill my head with fear. (By the way, Sam is fine. He's just less "social" than the ladies of this household. :) Go figure.) I began to speak and seek God's promises on the subject of fear and faith and blessing. He promises to bless us and take care of us. He's our Father after all. I mean, I want the ABSOLUTE BEST for my kids. Who doesn't? If I could give them everything/anything, I would. How much more does God want the best for us? If we told our children that we were going to do something, wouldn't it frustrate us if they didn't believe us and constantly talked about it NOT happening or doubting us?

Is living by Faith easy? No. Is it worthwhile? YES! Living by Fear isn't easy either. A state of constant worry and negativity can even have health ramifications. And it's not even worthwhile! Each day may need a constant reminder that fear is worthless at first. But, if you put enough of God's promises and His word into your brain, you will identify the enemy's lies immediately. Keep doing that! He really does want us to FEAR NOT!

Lessons from my kids...

I've been noticing a lot of life lessons lately that I have learned by staying at home and observing my kids. I originally thought that I could teach them some things while I stay at home with them. Now I'm finding out that I'm the one getting the education.
Some things are simple. Especially from Sam's point of view.
#1. Cold rear ends aren't fun. (Cold toilet seats reinforce this for me. Apparently, cold wipes are the baby equivalent.)
#2. When people's basic needs are met - ie: food, clothing, clean rear end- they are much happier. (For example, I've often heard it said that money doesn't buy happiness. That's correct. But, when you don't have enough to cover your basic needs, that causes stress. That's not good either. I think that good people do good things with that "extra" money. The opposite is also true.)

Avery's recent lesson is a little more complicated and profound.
#1. Ask for help when you need it. (Ava's been going through an "do it myself" phase lately. She wants to get herself dressed and make her bed and turn on/off the lights ALL BY HERSELF. The only thing is, if she has trouble with any of these, she gets super frustrated and begins to bawl. She is so determined to NOT ask for help and to do it herself that she gets mad at me for even offering.)
I wonder if this is how we seem to act towards God. Our heavenly father is standing by, watching us get frustrated and He knows how to help us or fix it, but He's waiting for us to ask. He watches us try to do it all by ourselves and it pains Him to see us kick and scream and get so mad and hit those brick walls over and over. If only we'd ask for help. If only we'd ask for His guidance. If only we'd realize from the start that God is standing by and has the answers we're looking for. We just must trust Him. And that's where the hard part comes in. Living by faith that our Father knows the answers and that it'll work out. Whatever "it" is.
Please, Dear Lord, don't let me be like Ava sitting in her room frustrated and crying when I can just ask my heavenly father for help. Please let me humble myself enough to learn how to live by FAITH.

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

So, as many of you may know, HE'S HERE! Samuel Elijah Culbertson (Sam) was born on Feb 2nd, 2011 @ 9:21am weighing in at 8lbs 14oz and 21inches long.

He is... AMAZING! Sam has quite the set of lungs on him... He cried super loud as soon as they pulled his head out and suctioned out his mouth. Then he didn't stop crying until he was bundled and in Daddy's arms and Mommy was talking to him. Only then did he calm down. So far, he's been pretty good. He seems to only really cry if he has to poop or is hungry... or if I am wiping his bottom with a cold baby wipe. He's not a fan of the cold hiney thing. Not that I blame him. I'm not either. :) He typically eats every 3ish hours during the day and at night he can even stay asleep longer. Not sure if it's because I have him in one of those swaddling thingies to sleep or because it's dark and quiet, but he's made it 4.5 to 5 hours some nights. After he's done eating, he drifts back off to sleep. This makes mommy really happy. During the day he'll sometimes stay up for an hour or two at a time depending on how much he's slept previously. He just stares at the world around him. Sam's so serious looking sometimes... that must come from Daddy. :)

His only "issue" is that he poops in every diaper. Not much, but just enough to smell up the joint and it's typically RIGHT after I've changed him once. :o/ Sometimes I haven't even gotten him off the changing table or his clothes back on before he poops in the new diaper. We've also had some of the "crazy hosey" (as my sister calls it) incidences. The best one was when he shot a stream of pee halfway across the room and hit Ava in the arm. She started to scream and ran around trying to get her shirt off because it had pee on it! I laughed. She didn't think it was funny. Maybe someday she'll see the humor.

As far as Avery's thoughts on him... she LOVES him. She wants to snuggle with Sam all the time and constantly tries to soothe him if he fusses or cries. "Sam, it's okay. You're alright. I'm here." :) I constantly find her petting his cheeks or rubbing her cheeks on his head because she says he's soft. Several times a day I hear, "Mom, I love Sam." She has just about forgotten about the baby that she (for MONTHS) claimed was in her belly. We got her a doll and brought it to her in the hospital. She loved it... but now that we're all home and the REAL baby is here she is much more interested in helping me with Sam. She gets his blankets or pacifier or a new diaper for me or whatever. She loves being a helper.

The first few days were trickier because Ava wanted attention and even negative attention would do. (She was not aware that she was jealous or acting out, but she just wanted someone to notice her.) We had several time outs and "chats" about how to act appropriately. But, it's gotten easier. She now loves her role as helper, and during his naps we color together or practice letters or play games or whatever. As Sam gets older and requires more attention I am hoping to be able to have her share in his attention and then get some of her own at times too.

Although sometimes momentarily overwhelming, I only need to look at her big, bright smile and his sleepy, milk face grin to know that it's all worth it. I'm in love. :)

Check out http://www.samculbertson.srprints.com/  for more pics

The Days of Three

I've come to a realization. My days of three are almost over. By this I'm referring to the fact that there are currently three of us that reside here. I have less than a week until Sam enters the world and that delicate balance with the three of us is upended. I am trying very hard to sneak in tons of little moments and memories with Avery right now because I know that I'll have to share my time between the two of them soon. It's sorta bittersweet. I cherish every snuggle, every song, every chance I get to spend time with her... but I also am SOOO excited to meet my son. I can't wait to see him, to hold him, to introduce him to this crazy family he's been born into. I love him more than words can express already. Is this crazy? As I sit here writing this, I'm already a bit emotional... but for me that's typically par for the course.

I don't know how God does it. I mean, He really loves us equally, you know? I am wondering how exactly that will work for me and two little ones. Imagine the billions/trillions?? of children God's had over the course of humankind. And each one of us is just as important and has been given just as many talents and gifts as the other. (Not the same kind of talents and gifts and, unfortunately, we don't all use them, but we all have been given them by our Heavenly Father.) He loves every single one of us with ALL of His heart. He always has and always will. I am trying to figure out how to share time and attention with two. I know that I'm probably overthinking everything and that it'll just come naturally, but I don't want to slight Ava while I'm trying to get back into baby routine with Sam. I also don't want to miss celebrating the amazing milestones for Sam as I figure this out. (I've been reminded that first children get all the photos and such and subsequent children don't because they're parents are typically too busy to break out the camera or make as big of a fuss.)

I have less than a week... and I have a feeling that this will  not be resolved by then. I am just going to cherish the last Days of Three that we have and pray about it. I know it will be fine. (There are millions in the world with more than one child and they've figured it out.) Heck, maybe I should call the Duggars... :o) No matter what, on Feb 2nd my world will change again... AND I'M EXCITED!

Ava-isms

Just thought I'd share a few of the more memorable recent Ava-isms from the past few months and especially over this holiday season. :) Hope they make you smile or even laugh. Most of them made me laugh...

1. After her first visit with Santa at the mall, Avery was still reliving the whole situation the next morning. While getting ready I heard her in her rooom putting each of her toys on her lap and asking them what they want for Christmas! Even the dog (our 115lb chocolate lab) was told, "Come over here and sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas."

2. Ava knows that Christmas is Jesus's birthday. We even talked about people using presents as a way to "celebrate" His birthday each year. She then asked if Jesus grew up to be Santa Claus... hmmm.... No. But I can see how this can be very confusing.

3. Going to the OBGYN with Avery during this pregnancy has provided its own share of funny moments. She is now an expert on mommy having to "pee in the cup" and "put it in the little closet" for the nurse to check. She even gives me the cup each time I walk into the bathroom. When I had to have a test done today which required that I remove my pants for them to "check the baby," Avery asked why they can't just listen to my belly like they normally do and why they needed to listen to my hiney this time. Oh geesh.

4. Ava is CONVINCED that she is having a baby too. (We talked about daddy not being able to have one because he's a boy. Obviously this means she is able to have one.) So... she is having a baby sister while I am having a baby brother. We also had originally asked her if she liked Samuel Elijah or Elijah Samuel as a name. (He will be named Samuel Elijah, by the way.) She said she liked Eli and that is now the name of her baby. Mommy has baby Sam and she has baby Eli... the baby sister??? She even tells people to feel her stomach and then tells them that Baby Eli just kicked them. How to break the news to her when we go to the hospital??? I think she'll be getting a baby doll of her own.

5. We were packing up a few boxes of old pictures and such in an effort to start cleaning out the office/extra room so that we can eventually (in the spring or summer) make this Ava's room. She ran across some photos of our wedding and then noticed the ring on my finger. She asked me what it meant. I told her that the ring means that I'm married to daddy and that those pictures are from our wedding when we got married. She asked where she was in those pictures. Hmmm... not here yet. Then she told me that SHE got married in a wedding before too. I asked her who she got married to and she looked at me like I had three heads. "Mom, I got married to SARAH!" (My new sister in law... where Avery was the flower girl.) "Don't you remember? We BOTH wore princess dresses!!!" :)

6. I have been asked by the doc to watch my carb intake. I have found some really yummy "Carb Smart" ice cream bars as a little treat. I don't typically eat them when Ava's around because she would also want one, and they're not really that cheap as far as ice cream goes. One day, when Ava was down for a nap, I had one of these bars. I absentmindedly laid the wooden stick the bar comes on on the coffee table after I was done and forgot to throw it in the trash right away. After she was up from her nap for a while I noticed that she had the stick and was playing with it. Each of her dolls was told to, "Say Ahhhh" so that she could look in its mouth. She came to me to do the same thing. Mind you, this has been HOURS after I originally had the ice cream. That's why when she put it in my mouth and it was still wet I was a little weirded out. I told her to get it out of my mouth and asked why it was wet. "What mom? What's wrong? Hershey (our chocolate lab) already did it." EWWWWW!!!! Note to self: Don't leave things for Ava to stick in the dog's mouth and then your own... :oP

Thankful...

Yep. My favorite time of year again. Autumn. Especially because it includes one of my favorite holidays... THANKSGIVING! In homage to this amazing day of remembrance, I am writing out my list of blessings and things I am thankful for... (This is the shortened version. There are more things than this I can/am thankful for, but I am not going to post them all here. That would take forever. This is just a list of 50.)

1. My salvation through Jesus Christ

2. My health - without this, most of the others don't seem all that important

3. My husband - He's, seriously, the best man in the world. I love him with all of my heart.
4. My daughter and son (Avery & Samuel)

5. My parents

6. My sister & her family

7. My in-laws (Really, I'm serious. I love them.)
8. My extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc...)
9. The opportunity to succeed or fail
10. Friends who help me become the best me possible
11. Great books that inspire and challenge me
12. Amazing heros that I can actually look up to in life
13. Fuzzy slippers/socks
14. Snuggly blankets (no, not snuggies - just warm blankets)
15. Time... most people take this for granted
16. Cars/Trucks etc... automobiles - and their convenience

17. Forgiveness

18. Apple Cider

19. Free enterprise
20. Sunsets
21. Our dog, Hershey... even if she is a pain sometimes
22. My senses (hearing and eyesight, etc...)
23. Sticky syrup face kisses from Avery
24. Colors... and the beauty that can be created from them
25. Sweatshirts
26. A hedge of protection around me, my family, & my friends
27. Computers
28. My pathetic pillow that has survived my childhood, Kenya, Avery's birth (barely) and a zillion road trips.
29. Christ's Mercy
30. Music
31. Nature
32. My mind (it's the one thing any of us can actually control.)
33. Water
34. Laughter
35. Heat and air conditioning (I know I'm spoiled)
36. Room to grow and change... (not clothing - although that's appreciated too, but as a person)
37. Sneakers and boots and comfy shoes
38. Quiet time with the Lord
39. Great conversations
40. My imagination
41. Sleeping in     :)
42. My time in Kenya (and hopefully, a trip back)
43. Kenneth Copeland Ministries
44. Hot chocolate
45. Electricity & running water
46. A PMA about each and every day
47. Trying to develop an "others focused" approach to life.
48. The ability and willingness to seek God's will in my life (not just my own)
49. Goals and the opportunity to work towards them (even if we don't always hit them when we want to)
50. Compassion

Okay, so that was actually pretty easy. There are a zillion things that I'm thankful for... If you ever have one of those days that make you feel like you may not be able to handle your life... PLEASE create your own list. Add the smallest things as well as big things. It puts life into perspective. As Larry Winters always says, "Any day above ground is a good day."

For these things, AND MORE, I am thankful!