I've come to a realization. My days of three are almost over. By this I'm referring to the fact that there are currently three of us that reside here. I have less than a week until Sam enters the world and that delicate balance with the three of us is upended. I am trying very hard to sneak in tons of little moments and memories with Avery right now because I know that I'll have to share my time between the two of them soon. It's sorta bittersweet. I cherish every snuggle, every song, every chance I get to spend time with her... but I also am SOOO excited to meet my son. I can't wait to see him, to hold him, to introduce him to this crazy family he's been born into. I love him more than words can express already. Is this crazy? As I sit here writing this, I'm already a bit emotional... but for me that's typically par for the course. I don't know how God does it. I mean, He really loves us equally, you know? I am wondering how exactly that will work for me and two little ones. Imagine the billions/trillions?? of children God's had over the course of humankind. And each one of us is just as important and has been given just as many talents and gifts as the other. (Not the same kind of talents and gifts and, unfortunately, we don't all use them, but we all have been given them by our Heavenly Father.) He loves every single one of us with ALL of His heart. He always has and always will. I am trying to figure out how to share time and attention with two. I know that I'm probably overthinking everything and that it'll just come naturally, but I don't want to slight Ava while I'm trying to get back into baby routine with Sam. I also don't want to miss celebrating the amazing milestones for Sam as I figure this out. (I've been reminded that first children get all the photos and such and subsequent children don't because they're parents are typically too busy to break out the camera or make as big of a fuss.)
I have less than a week... and I have a feeling that this will not be resolved by then. I am just going to cherish the last Days of Three that we have and pray about it. I know it will be fine. (There are millions in the world with more than one child and they've figured it out.) Heck, maybe I should call the Duggars... :o) No matter what, on Feb 2nd my world will change again... AND I'M EXCITED!
